What Does Mentoring Look Like in Practice?

Mentoring is highly tailored to each client’s specific needs and goals. There are also usually many different entryways into unraveling the web of limiting habits and beliefs that are keeping you stuck where you are.

Mentoring is done via in person meetings or direct calls (video or audio as you prefer). The process relies on deep one-to-one dialogue. My job is to make you feel safe enough to disclose vulnerable truths and to confront feelings or beliefs you have been avoiding. I am there to be a resource for support, encouragement, and non-judgmental witnessing. I listen and ask questions before I offer information or advice. Part of my job, though, is also to connect you with information that might help which you did not have or perhaps had but did not connect to your current challenge.

Generally, our work will follow a path of me getting to know you, your past, your current circumstances, and the specific challenges you are hoping to resolve. We will clarify what resolution looks like for you, and I will offer some initial tools and perspective shifts to help move you in that direction. After implementing those, you will likely find deeper layers of blocks or discover that a seemingly unconnected issue is, in fact, the same issue (or a result of the same underlying issue). We’ll work to find the right tools/skills/belief shifts to help you with that challenge, and repeat as necessary until we get you to your goal or on a clear and sustainable course toward it.

There may be tools that don’t work; there may be times when you slip back into old habits and have to start over again. Creating sustainable change is about making a series of small shifts over time that can be maintained (too big a change at once can be too overwhelming to be sustained). Throughout our work together, I will keep an eye on your ultimate goal and keep steering toward it.

Below is a brief and definitely not comprehensive list of the sorts of information and applied skills I might teach you to help you move past your challenges:

personality mapping to help you understand your gifts and energy flow channels (it’s amazing how many of us try to live counter to both of those due to cultural expectations!)

boundaries work to make sure you know how to say no, how to hear no, and how to ask for and receive what you need

relational skills such as conflict navigation/resolution, communication issues, controlled vulnerability, etc.

inner parenting to give you the inner leadership you need to face the world with authenticity and confidence in yourself

identifying and replacing beliefs or habits that are keeping you stuck where you are

integrating your past experiences into a new narrative to change the “story” you are living out (for example, from having a hard-luck life to having a life rich with lessons that built the inner strength and resilience to conquer anything)

developing a deeper and more mindful relationship with your body (this is near and dear to my heart because I spent DECADES living in a low-level dissociation from my body that was completely normalized by modern American culture—but life is not supposed to hurt! We are NOT supposed to be chronically overextended, exhausted, and on the edge of burnout! Treating our bodies with respect is hugely restorative to our hope and sense of control. When we can feel safe inside our body and safe from the world stealing all our time and energy, then we can really begin to dream and then take actions to make those dreams our reality).

creating a specific plan to actualize your dream, because that quantification is what turns it from a dream into a goal, with a series of action steps that you have control over!

Aside from being able to teach any/all of the above because I had to learn about them and implement them in my own life, I am naturally gifted at seeing the world—or an individual—as an interconnected whole. I recognize subtle patterns and underlying connections that are not obvious to most people; I see deeply. I can keep one eye on the big picture while I put the other on the fine details of a process or specific piece of the whole. My mind easily slips beyond its own point of view and into multiple others, which allows me to be deeply empathetic to your experience AND to see solutions or possibilities that only appear when the situation is seen from a different angle.

As a mentor, these gifts help me to trace patterns and beliefs to their underlying cause. Resolve the root of the problem, resolve the symptoms for good, whereas dealing with only the symptoms leaves you vulnerable to new symptoms arising because the underlying issue still remains.

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