Relationship Skills Coaching

A relationship between two people is really two complex systems interacting with each other consistently over time.

If you come from a family where conflicts were loud and scary and never really got resolved…or a family where conflicts were silent and cold and never really acknowledged…or a family where blaming, shaming, criticizing, and judgment were common…or a family where expressions of emotions and needs were ignored or even punished…you might not have all the skills you need for successful relationships.

That’s where I come in!

Relationship coaching is based on identifying skill gaps you might have, then helping you learn and practice those skills in the context of our safe working relationship. My job is to lead with compassion and curiosity for you and your holistic experience of life and self. I want to meet you where you are while holding space for you to evolve into the next-level version of yourself.

We focus on changing your actions and your mindset to give you a different experience within your relationships.

Together, we can work to

  • figure out the relationship skills you need + strategize how you can best learn them
  • integrate new perspectives to replace unhelpful emotional beliefs
  • formulate “scripts” you can use around vulnerable topics
  • practice skills and scripts in sessions before trying them IRL
  • identify your defensive triggers and fear points + understand your stress response style
  • strategize approachable ways for you to have corrective experiences
  • separate facts from interpretations/assumptions
  • understand your relational needs better so you can better advocate for them
  • improve your relationship with your body and your emotions
  • cultivate self-compassion and a new “subconscious comfort zone” for relationships

Human beings are complex systems. We bring into all of our relationships our past experiences with other people, our beliefs about how relationships work, our emotions, our hopes and goals, our needs, our sense of identity, our values, our personality type preferences, our stresses, our bodies and their physical limitations, and more. Many of these fall outside our conscious awareness of what is “part of” our relationship; we don’t think about the ways all the other parts of our lives affect us, which in turn can affect the energy we bring into any given relationship.

Most of us are not explicitly taught how to balance the system of our complex life against or within our relationships. Not all families and cultures convey the skills necessary for successful relationships. Luckily, those skills are learnable!

  • self-awareness
  • compassion
  • empathy
  • clear communication
  • emotional regulation
  • conflict navigation
  • repairing ruptures

That is a non-comprehensive list of skills that can help you thrive in your relationship/s. The most important quality you can bring to a relationship is a willingness to learn, to listen, and to try to to do better. None of us are perfect, and even two perfectly balanced systems might not perfectly fit together. Being willing to adjust and attune to someone else’s needs without sacrificing your own needs and integrity is key!

If you’re ready to do the work to bring your best self into your relationships, current or future, set up an exploration call with me!